yknow i was wondering why i recognized this guy and then the username watermark finally caught my eye. and yall. its him.
WHAT?
(via one-hell-of-a-sheep)
yknow i was wondering why i recognized this guy and then the username watermark finally caught my eye. and yall. its him.
WHAT?
(via one-hell-of-a-sheep)
Okay kids buckle up for the INSANE story I just heard from my little brother
**As a disclaimer my brother is a cis straight dude who only dates the most basic white girls you can find. He’s very emotionally aware but doesn’t linger on his emotions, just processes them and moves on (this is wild to me)**
He calls me on my break just to say hi, that he’s driving back to Denver from visiting his girlfriend, to which I respond “didn’t you break up with your girlfriend (of like a month) last month” and to which he says “yeah I have a new girlfriend, we’ve been together four weeks but I went up to spend the weekend and meet her friends” and I’m like ok great this is already ridiculous
So we’re chatting and I’m teasing him about how he doesn’t sleep with people on first dates and he says that he’s changed his policy, it’s just that he won’t have sex with them if he’d rather be doing something else, so I joke that I’ve had that where I’d rather be watching the show Chernobyl (true) and he says “yeah or watching a movie with my housemate” and I say hey bud that’s kind of gay and he says yeah I actually had a weird gay moment last night
And I go oh???? And he goes yeah, I was at the bar with the girlfriend and some of her friends and one of them was a guy and we were hitting it off, doing a little flirting as you do with your bros at the bar~
And then my cis straight brother goes on to explain that sometimes when you’re out with the homies and you’re having a good time and the vibes are right you just give em a little kiss, like just a kiss on the mouth between bros, “no tongue or anything like that but just to express that you’re close and having a good time”
I’m like “My dude that’s not a thing” and he’s like “between confident straight men it is” and I’m like “NO IT’S NOT"
So there we’ve got my brother having casual queerplatonic relationships with his homies at the bar, and he’s telling me this and I’m obviously speechless, so he goes on and he’s like “so because this guy and I were hitting it off I go in for a little kiss and he fucking swerves me” and I’m like yes my guy but because my brother is actually very good with respecting boundaries he was like “ok man great communication, won’t do it again"
BUT
Apparently my brother and the dude and my brother’s GIRLFRIEND who has been there the WHOLE TIME go outside (I assume to have a cigarette but he didn’t tell me that part) and the guy turns to my brother and is like “man I should have kissed you when you offered it” and my brother is like “cool good shit man” like in the most bro way possible and then the guy grabs his face between his hands and just PLANTS a big one on his mouth
And THEN the guy panics and shoves him down on the ground!! And my brother has the normal reaction to being shoved on the ground unexpectedly which is to say “what the FUCK” and the girlfriend says “what the FUCK” and the guy goes “what the FUCK” and leaves
And my brother ended the story there and was musing on it like “this guy obviously has some complexes to work through about his sexuality, no confident straight man kisses another confident straight man and then panics and runs away”
Which took me out at the KNEES lol
And that, dear readers, is the batshit story my brother told me!
OH MY GOD AND
AND
I told my coworker this and they were like I’m actually shipping him and his roommate and I was like HUH because I hadn’t considered that and then later my brother sent me a photo of his housemate wearing sexy handcuffs
nice
#WILD#this is so validating for fic writers everywhere#your blorbo Can In Fact Be that oblivious
love the prev tags
(via sugar-and-spite)
The Signs As: Archetypes
Aries - The Divine Masculine, the warrior, the leader
Taurus - The Divine Feminine, the sustainer
Gemini - The Adapter, the story-teller, the communicator, the friend
Cancer - The Divine Mother, protector, guardian
Leo - The King, the monarch, the entertainer
Virgo - The Healer, fixer, worker
Libra - The Mediator, the partner, the ultimate other
Scorpio - The Transformer, the keeper of the zodiac
Sagittarius - The Explorer, the seeker
Capricorn - The Divine Father, the authority, the boss, the builer
Aquarius - The Innovator, the outlier, the rebel
Pisces - The Witness, the artist, the seer
You love to see it. (Not the destruction of trees, obvs, but shitheads meeting their oncoming comeuppance at the hands of trees.)
(via if-you-think-about-it)
Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting
First like and this has already found its intended audience
uh oh
(via if-you-think-about-it)
Which embalming fluid looks the most delicious? (Names are from left to right)
Introfiant
Metasyn
Syncav
Jaundofiant
Metaflow
Plasdopake
Pls reblog if u vote :)
I was so dedicated to this meme that I went on the embalming fluid website to figure out the names of the chemicals that were too blurred to read
(via crimepope)
I decided to share this around Tumblr, as well
#from an art perspective it’s also a great use of space and tone#i love the choice of color between soft blue and stark red#the emptiness of the white side of the bg next to the soft blue invoking a feeling that resonates with the subject#this is an excellent piece of art
(via catsnuggler)
I loved my friend.
He went away from me.
There’s nothing more to say.
The poem ends,
Soft as it began-
I loved my friend.
these two are the first thing you see when you enter hell
am i being interrogated
(via brokentripod)
Hey y’all wanna see the worlds most appropriately unhinged phantom of the opera as it came up on my FYP?
(via goodlorddreamer)